I’ve recently sold my house on Cessna Court and have moved to a new house in a different city. That home is where we lived for 21 years. I raised my boys there, went through a divorce there, fell back in love there, created great memories there, and grieved the loss of Dillon there. I… Continue reading Rear View Window
Tag: grief
Patrick
Patrick was the first male that ever treated me with a soft kindness and respect that made me feel special. We were just kids when we met, I was 18 he was 23. He was kind and stable, I was emotional and wild. We both filled a void in each other’s lives. We were young… Continue reading Patrick
Sister-Moms
I find that I am still very reactive. Reactive to sounds, to scenes, to situations. The sound of a motorcycle makes me tense up. Whenever I see a white work van, I drive up next to the window to see if maybe, just maybe it’s Dillon sitting behind the wheel. When I see flashing lights… Continue reading Sister-Moms
Mental Masturbation
Lately, I’ve been stuck! I haven’t wanted to write or work. I haven’t wanted to do anything… other than feel sorry for myself. I’ve become really good at hiding my pain, putting on the mask, and muddling my way through life. I’m not really sure of who I am anymore. What do I want for… Continue reading Mental Masturbation
Thoughts on “Help”
Prior to losing Dillon in 2018, I had some experience with grief. The death of my father, both my mother and father-in-law, and my step-father. I remember it being a sad time in my life, but it was not “life changing”. Then in 2016 my first husband Patrick died suddenly and the sting of grief was… Continue reading Thoughts on “Help”
Grace and Kindness
Today marks the 3 year anniversary of Dillon’s death. That’s 1095 days of waking up and feeling the stabbing pains of grief and muddling my way through life. It’s no wonder people often say, “You are so strong!” I am strong, as are millions of others who are struggling through their own pain. Maybe it’s… Continue reading Grace and Kindness
You Can’t Force The Process
We are all processing something. Life IS a process and death is a process. Losing my son and grieving has been my biggest process so far. You see, no two people grieve the same, as there isn’t a one size fits all solution. In fact, there isn’t a “solution”! Grief isn’t a problem to be… Continue reading You Can’t Force The Process
The Gift of Grief
I know there are some who will cringe when they read that title. Grief has always been a “bad” thing so how could it possibly be a gift? As a society we have been conditioned to look at things in a certain way. We put everything on two lists… good, or bad. I want to offer… Continue reading The Gift of Grief
What If Death Isn’t Bad?
When someone dies, we don’t truly know what happens. Does the screen go black and we completely stop to exist? Do we go to “heaven”? Is there an afterlife? Do we move on to anther realm? Do we advance to another level? There are many theories, but there are no guarantees, just as there are… Continue reading What If Death Isn’t Bad?
A Fishing Pole, A Joint, A Coor’s, and a Gamepad
It is and it isn’t like I imagined. You know what I mean, that time you imagined the death of your child? We’ve all done it. I imagined that it would be kind of like a dramatic movie… a mother learns of her child’s death, she buries her face in her hands, falls to her… Continue reading A Fishing Pole, A Joint, A Coor’s, and a Gamepad